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#9511Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.
-- John Updike, "Couples"
#9512Government lies, and newspapers lie, but in a democracy they are different lies.
#9513Government spending? I don't know what it's all about. I don't know
any more about this thing than an economist does, and, God knows, he
doesn't know much.
-- Will Rogers
#9514 Graduating seniors, parents and friends...
Let me begin by reassuring you that my remarks today will stand up
to the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness.
The intra-college sensitivity advisory committee has vetted the
text of even trace amounts of subconscious racism, sexism and classism.
Moreover, a faculty panel of deconstructionists have reconfigured
the rhetorical components within a post-structuralist framework, so as to
expunge any offensive elements of western rationalism and linear logic.
Finally, all references flowing from a white, male, eurocentric
perspective have been eliminated, as have any other ruminations deemed
denigrating to the political consensus of the moment.

Thank you and good luck.
-- Doonesbury, the University Chancellor's graduation speech.
#9515Great Moments in History: #3

August 27, 1949:
A Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the
Women's Air Corp. It was a WAC's Museum.
#9516 Grover Cleveland, though constantly at loggerheads with the
Senate, got on better with the House of Representatives. A popular
story circulating during his presidency concerned the night he was
roused by his wife crying, "Wake up! I think there are burglars in the
house."
"No, no, my dear," said the president sleepily, "in the Senate maybe,
but not in the House."
#9517Grub first, then ethics.
-- Bertolt Brecht
#9518Hark ye, Clinker, you are a most notorious offender. You stand convicted of
sickness, hunger, wretchedness, and want.
-- Tobias Smollet
#9519Has the great art and mystery of politics no apparent utility? Does it
appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
and its salient virtuosi a gang of umitigated scoundrels? Then let us
not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickel the midriff, its
incomparable services as a maker of entertainment.
-- H.L. Mencken, "A Carnival of Buncombe"
#9520Have you noticed the way people's intelligence capabilities decline
sharply the minute they start waving guns around?
-- Dr. Who
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