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#5091 |  | Good night, Austin, Texas, wherever you are!
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#5092 |  | Hating the Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax. -- Mike Royko
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#5093 |  | Have you seen the latest Japanese camera? Apparently it is so fast it can photograph an American with his mouth shut!
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#5094 |  | Hear about the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus? Burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.
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#5095 |  | Hear about the young Chinese woman who just won the lottery? One fortunate cookie...
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#5096 |  | Here is the fact of the week, maybe even the fact of the month. According to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing severe marketing anxiety in China. The words "Coca-Cola" translate into Chinese as either (depending on the inflection) "wax-fattened mare" or "bite the wax tadpole". Bite the wax tadpole. There is a sort of rough justice, is there not? The trouble with this fact, as lovely as it is, is that it's hard to get a whole column out of it. I'd like to teach the world to bite a wax tadpole. Coke -- it's the real wax-fattened mare. Not bad, but broad satiric vistas do not open up. -- John Carrol, The San Francisco Chronicle
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#5097 |  | "His great aim was to escape from civilization, and, as soon as he had money, he went to Southern California."
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#5098 |  | Historians have now definitely established that Juan Cabrillo, discoverer of California, was not looking for Kansas, thus setting a precedent that continues to this day. -- Wayne Shannon
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#5099 |  | Houdini escaping from New Jersey!
Film at eleven.
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#5100 |  | How many priests are needed for a Boston Mass?
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