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| #4671 | | The Roman Rule:
The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the
one who is doing it.
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| #4672 | | The rules:
(1) Thou shalt not worship other computer systems.
(2) Thou shalt not impersonate Liberace or eat watermelon while
sitting at the console keyboard.
(3) Thou shalt not slap users on the face, nor staple their silly
little card decks together.
(4) Thou shalt not get physically involved with the computer system,
especially if you're already married.
(5) Thou shalt not use magnetic tapes as frisbees, nor use a disk
pack as a stool to reach another disk pack.
(6) Thou shalt not stare at the blinking lights for more than one
eight hour shift.
(7) Thou shalt not tell users that you accidentally destroyed their
files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.
(8) Thou shalt not enjoy cancelling a job.
(9) Thou shalt not display firearms in the computer room.
(10) Thou shalt not push buttons "just to see what happens".
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| #4673 | | The Second Law of Thermodynamics:
If you think things are in a mess now, just wait!
-- Jim Warner
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| #4674 | | The Seventh Commandments for Technicians:
Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow
workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other
ways.
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| #4675 | | The Sixth Commandment of Frisbee:
The greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going in a
direction you did not want. (Goes the wrong way = Goes a long way.)
-- Dan Roddick
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| #4676 | | The Third Law of Photography:
If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined
when someone inadvertently opens the darkroom door and all of
the dark leaks out.
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| #4677 | | The three biggest software lies:
(1) *Of course* we'll give you a copy of the source.
(2) *Of course* the third party vendor we bought that from
will fix the microcode.
(3) Beta test site? No, *of course* you're not a beta test site.
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| #4678 | | The three laws of thermodynamics:
(1) You can't get anything without working for it.
(2) The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
(3) You can only break even at absolute zero.
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| #4679 | | Theorem: a cat has nine tails.
Proof:
No cat has eight tails. A cat has one tail more than no cat.
Therefore, a cat has nine tails.
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| #4680 | | Theorem: All positive integers are equal.
Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.
Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B
(positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.
Proceed by induction:
If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1.
So A = B.
Assume that the theorem is true for some value k. Take A and B with
MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence
(A-1) = (B-1). Consequently, A = B.
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