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#3678 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Abbott's Admonitions: (1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know. (2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question. -- Charles Abbot, dean, University of Virginia
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#3679 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Absent, adj.: Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
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#3680 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Absentee, n.: A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove himself from the sphere of exaction. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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#3681 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Abstainer, n.: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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#3682 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
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#3683 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Academy: A modern school where football is taught. Institute: An archaic school where football is not taught.
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#3684 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Acceptance testing: An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
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#3685 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Accident, n.: A condition in which presence of mind is good, but absence of body is better. -- Foolish Dictionary
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#3686 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Accordion, n.: A bagpipe with pleats.
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#3687 | ![](/images/empty.gif) | Accuracy, n.: The vice of being right
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